


The Jumper

by acGranger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comfort, Coming Out, Crying, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Remus is super cute, Sharing a Bed, Sirius is unreasonably afraid, Stealing the jumper of your Boyfriend, Walburga Black being homophobic, Written for a Challenge, prompted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22989850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acGranger/pseuds/acGranger
Summary: Remus catches Sirius wearing his jumper. Sirius never planned for Remus to know. Luckily, they still find their way to each other.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 178





	The Jumper

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt for a writing competition on Instagram (@ wxlfstarscars)
> 
> One day (pre-wolfstar) Remus is walking down past the lake and he sees Sirius laying there and wants to stop and watch but he notices that Sirius is wearing his jumper.
> 
> This story went it´s own way and I´m sorry if the writing style changes in the middle. I never planned for this to become this long. The mentions of homophobia are brief and not detailed.

The prefects meeting was finally over. Remus stepped out of the classroom into the sunlit corridor and let out a breath. The sun wouldn´t set for another hour and although winter was creeping up on them, it was still warm enough to go outside without an additional cloak. With his head still occupied with the new patrolling plan they just discussed, Remus leaned next to a window overlooking the greenhouses and the great lake. The light danced upon the softly rippling water and covered the orange crowns of the surrounding trees in glittering specs. The scene was mesmerising to watch. Deciding he could use a break, he pushed himself off the wall and began his descend to the gates and towards the lake. Maybe the view and the sounds of nature would help him relax.  
  
Every step across the worn out path through the grass and into the small forest left Remus feeling a little lighter. This had always been his sanctuary at Hogwarts, the willow at one of the smaller bays of the lake; it branches hanging low above the water. The surrounding trees blocked the view from the path and turned this into the perfect hideout. Which is why Remus only saw the other man sitting there, once he was just a few meters away from him. Startled, Remus stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
His confusion didn´t last long though. He´d recognise the black locks anywhere. Sirius sat underneath their favourite tree and looked at the shore. Long arms hugged the long, jeans clad legs with the chin resting on the knees. Remus´ heart beat loud and fast, loud enough that the prefect feared that it would alarm his friend of his presence. Stupid heart, why couldn´t it stop acting like this whenever he saw Sirius? But Merlin, did he look beautiful. The dark hair and trousers forming a lovely contrast to the crème beige jumper. Wait a moment. Sirius didn´t own any jumpers, especially no knitted ones. And hadn´t Remus had a jumper the exact shade of beige?  
  
“Are you wearing my jumper?”, blurted Remus.  
The dark haired head shot up, turning towards the voice at the same time. The eyes were wide open, darting around and the hands, that hat previously enclosed the legs, rushed to the ground. Remus felt his face heat up and although he wanted to look away, he couldn’t. The animal inside him wouldn´t submit itself this easily. Which is how he noticed that Sirius´ eyes weren´t only wide open but also puffed and slightly red. There was some dirt on the left cheek.  
  
“Merlin, are you okay?” He rushed forward trying to assess the situation.  
Sirius opened his mouth to answer but closed it again. For a few seconds they simply stared at each other before the silence was broken by sniffling which grew into full out sobs. At a loss on what else to do, Remus sat and wrapped his arms around the other man, pulling him in. He whispered something that he hoped would be taken as encouragements and began patting his friends back.  
They sat like that until Sirius had stopped crying and it was nearly dark. When they did get up, dinner had just begun. But seeing as Remus nearly had to carry Sirius up the steps to the entrance hall, he decided to steer them away from the great hall and towards their dormitory. The black heir was drained and it was obvious he had been crying. Remus wanted to spare him the noise and questioning looks of the other students.  
  
When they finally reached the portrait of the fat lady, Remus was out of breath. No matter how many times he had to walk these staircases, it was always exhausting. He quickly checked if Sirius was still behind him, he had been oddly quiet ever since he stopped sobbing, and said “audax leonis”. The portrait swung open after taking a worried look at Sirius. As anticipated, the common room was empty.  
Upstairs in their dorm Remus ushered Sirius to the bed.  
  
“Sit. I still have some chocolate and you desperately need some.”. He bend down and began rummaging through his trunk for his secret stash. Chocolate and sweets of all kind were a sought after currency and Remus had to hide his emergency chocolate from his mates. Normally he wouldn’t compromise his hideouts this easily but Sirius seemed too out of it to pose a real thread to his secret.  
Handing some chocolate over, he watched his best friend nibble at first then slinging it down. Of course, how could he forget how hungry one felt after a breakdown? Inwardly cursing himself, he handed Sirius another piece of chocolate.  
“Stay here, I´ll get some real food for you”  
  
~  
  
The house elves had given Remus a basket full of food in less than 5 minutes upon entering the kitchen. The basket was laden with a mixture of filling foods like potatoes and comfort food such as applesauce and chocolate pudding. He had to cast a lightening charm before carrying it all the way up to Gryffindor tower.  
Once inside the dorm yet again he put the basket down and found Sirius lying on top of his duvet, curled into a ball. The door fell shut and the sleeping form jerked awake.  
  
“Moony?” his voice sounded sleepy.  
  
“Hey padfoot, I´ve brought something to eat, would you sit up?” Remus said as softly as possible.  
  
The dark haired boy did and motioned for the prefect to sit down as well. Together they sat cross-legged across from each other, silently digging into the different foods. A single muffin was left and Sirius took it, broke it in half and offered half to Remus. Although he was quite full, it was too good of an offer to deny and so he took it, slowly ripping small chunks off it. Once he finished that, he turned to Sirius:  
  
“Go to bed, sleep. You need the rest and tomorrow you´ll feel better.”  
He stood and turned to leave the dorm. Maybe he could get some reading done in the common room before he turned in himself. A hand on his wrist stopped him.  
  
“Would you mind staying? I don´t feel like being alone right now”  
  
Green eyes glistened with fear. Remus only nodded. Sirius got under the covers and scooted to one side of the bed, making it clear that he would like Remus to do so as well. His stupid heart beating like he just ran a marathon, he did. He had dreamed of sharing a bed with Sirius before but this was nothing like those dreams. Apart from the situation it was way better, feeling the heat of another body next to him. They didn´t even touch. A shy voice pulled him out of the reverie.  
  
“Rem? Thank you for not pressuring me to talk about it.”  
“Of course!”  
He couldn´t resist temptation any longer and his hand crossed the few centimetres between them to pad Sirius´ back. It took long that night for Remus to fall asleep. His thoughts running laps in his head, circling around the same three points the whole time: Sirius, his feelings for Sirius and how wrong it was for him to be thinking of the closeness of Sirius´ body in the way he was thinking about it. To fight his guilt, he turned his back on Sirius and went through his last transfiguration essay in his head.  
  
Morning came and Remus was relieved to find that he hadn´t had scooted up to the warmth behind him. He lay the way he had when he felt himself drifting off to sleep, fully clothed, his back turned to Sirius. A quick tempus told him that he still had half an hour before breakfast would start. He got out of bed, careful as not to wake the still sleeping boy next to him, and went to take a shower.  
The shower really helped clearing his head. Standing underneath the warm spray, there was no guilt, no confusion. It was okay for him to help Sirius over a breakdown and still be thrilled when they were close to another. He wasn´t a lesser person for being unable to ignore his feelings for the other man even if the situation was unfitting. But once the guilt stopped an inherent curiosity took over. What had made Sirius break down like this? The marauder didn´t normally cry, his emotions presenting themselves more in the form of curse words, aggression and rebelliousness. So whatever made his best friend cry had to be huge.  
  
His mind was still on possible scenarios on what had happened when the lanky teen entered his dorm. Sirius had apparently woken while he had been in the bath and sat in his bed. His position was similar to the one Remus had found him in when at the lake. The knees pulled to his chest, arms around his legs and chin on the knees, still clad in the jumper that wasn´t his. This time he wasn’t crying though, he didn´t seem to be doing anything. Apathy had taken over the sparkle that was normally present in those green eyes that now stared into nothingness.  
Remus dropped the towel he had just used to dry off his hair and carefully approached the bed.  
  
“Hey pads. What´s going on? How can I help you?”  
His words broke through the façade and Sirius turned his head. Remus could pinpoint the moment his best mate pulled out of the thoughts he was having. His eyes went from dull to relieved and the arms untangled themselves.  
  
“You didn´t leave”, claimed Sirius disbelievingly.  
“I just went to shower…. Why would I leave?” Remus was confused.  
  
Sirius stammered: “Well I just…. Thought…. Sharing a bed…. Would be weird, and… I´m sorry for that by the way… and…”. He broke off. His face turned red. “I should shower too, there are probably twigs in my hair.” With that he got up and headed for his trunk.  
Severely perplexed Remus headed to his own bed, searching for a tie and cloak.  
  
“What was that all about?” came James´ voice from across the room. “And what´s with you sleeping at pad´s?”  
  
“I don´t know James. All I know is that he was upset yesterday and asked me to stay.” Remus really hoped that Sirius wouldn´t get mad at him for sharing this little info with their mate. But then again, James was practically a brother to Sirius. It wasn´t as if they had secrets from each other.  
  
~  
  
Three days later and Remus still hadn´t figured out what had happened to derail the punk rock attitude. He didn´t dare asking, in fear of upsetting Sirius again. The latter had been quieter than usual. No quick comebacks, no puns, no obnoxious fake-flirting with anyone at all. He still joked around with the marauders but his laughter was dull and didn´t reach his eyes. It had gotten better with each day that passed but the rings underneath Sirius´ eyes had also become darker with each day that passed. Remus was quite certain that Sirius hadn´t slept through one night, maybe he hadn´t slept at all. So when night came and Sirius made no move to get to sleep, Remus cornered him in the common room.  
  
“I don´t know what´s going on and you don´t have to tell me, but I can´t let you ruin yourself like this! Padfoot you NEED some sleep. You´re looking like shit!”  
  
“Gee, thanks moony. You really know how to cheer a lad up.”  
  
“Don´t give me that shit. I am worried about you! When was the last time you slept for more than an hour?”  
  
Sirius reply was mumbled and unintelligible.  
  
Remus previous anger left him and he took a step back. Yelling at Sirius would most definitely not help at all. He pinched the bridge of his nose, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Look, it´s your thing okay? But I really am worried and if I can help in any way let me know, please? I hate to see you suffer like this.” His statement was met with silence and just before Remus considered leaving, came:  
  
“Could you sleep next to me? I… I know it´s weird, but… it kept my nightmares at bay.” Remus eyes flew open at the timidly posed request. All resistance had dropped of the other teen and the fear of this show of vulnerability became visible.  
  
“Of course pads” he answered as reassuringly as possible. But his thoughts were already racing again.  
They got ready for bed quietly, taking the time to brush their teeth and change into pyjamas this time. But once under the blanket Remus was at a loss at what to do and how to lie. Should he face Sirius? Turn his back to him? Maybe even cuddle him? No, not that. In the end he ended up lying on his back and staring at the canopy. Sirius broke their awkward silence after a few minutes, with a Muffliato. His voice was quiet and unsteady.  
  
“It was Regulus”  
  
“What was?”  
  
“The reason I was crying that day. I know you´re curious and you deserve to know. It´s just… not easy to talk about.”  
  
Remus turned to face Sirius, not daring to disrupt him.  
  
“He… he confronted me and said mother would throw me out and no one would accept me and that you guys would… would turn on me once you knew that…”. A deep inhale of air was audible in the dark. Sirius exhaled unsteadily before taking another attempt.  
  
“Once you knew that I´m… gay”. Remus could feel him shake through the mattress. “I can fully understand if you want to get out of this bed now, but PLEASE don´t hate me! Please, I-“  
  
Remus finally pulled out of his stupor: “Sirius, calm down. I could never hate you! I know that was really hard to admit and I´m so thankful that you trust me enough to say this, but please stop convincing yourself that I would like you any less for being who you are!” That hadn´t been what he had expected to hear and his heart clenched with compassion. The mattress still vibrated from the shaking of the others body.  
  
“Is it okay if I hug you?” Remus asked. He desperately wanted to comfort Sirius and that was the one way he knew how. The mumbling confirmation led him to scoot closer and wrap his arms around the smaller teen. He gently started rubbing Sirius´ back. “Did you really think I would hate you for who you love? Even though you accepted me, the literal monster?”  
That elicited a chuckle from Sirius: “You are no monster Rem.”, and he lay his head on Remus´ chest. They lay like that until Sirius wasn´t shaking anymore and Remus heart had finally calmed down to a steady rhythm again. Sleep came easily that night.  
  
~  
  
It was amazing how much one little conversation and a full night rest could change. The punk rock attitude had returned and the circle under Sirius´ eyes had receded. Still he pulled Remus aside after potions.  
“And you´re really okay with me… liking men?” Sirius looked so insecure and Remus was so unprepared for this question, that he just blurted out the first thing in his head:  
  
“Would be pretty hypocritical of me if I wasn´t”.  
  
Realising his mistake, he clapped a hand in front of his mouth. Shit. That was not how he wanted to come out. “I mean…”, a look into the puzzled look in Sirius´ face stopped him from backtracking. “I guess it´s out now… I´m … gay too.” Instead of a reply, Sirius just hugged him.  
  
~  
  
“If I may, why or how did Regulus know?” They were on their way to lunch, the dungeons already empty.  
  
“He didn´t. He initially cornered me to remind me of mothers ‘treatments’ if she caught wind of me flirting with boys.”  
Sirius shrugged and they turned towards the main steps out of the dungeon.  
“But you flirt with everyone?” Remus exclaimed, because it was true. Sirius was a notorious flirter. As far as Remus knew, he didn´t mean anything by it, it was just his standard way of talking to people.  
  
“Yeah, he didn´t really think much of it at first too. But my reaction had tipped him off somehow. Suddenly he just knew that he had hit a mark.”  
They were on top of the stairs now, the great hall only a few corridors away. “I don´t think he will tell old Wally what he found out, but still…” He let his voice drift off.  
Remus understood what Sirius meant, the threat of being outed to someone who could, or in this case better will, destroy your life was daunting. They rounded the last corner.  
“Anyway. Thank you for telling me.”, Sirius said, his tone completely different from just a sentence before.  
“It sure as hell wasn´t planned.”, murmured Remus just before they entered the great hall.  
  
During lunch and their afternoon classes (arithmancy in Remus´ case) his mind wandered back to the lake. He remembered his reason for disrupting Sirius in the first place, that jumper. He was certain now that it had been his. And that he hadn´t worn or seen that jumper for the better part of term.  
  
That evening in the common room he brought it up. Peter had already disappeared into their dorms and James had gone to annoy Lily some before going to bed.  
“Why did you wear my jumper?” He could maybe have segued into that question, but too late for that now.  
  
“At the lake I mean. It´s fine, I´m not angry or anything, just curious.”  
  
“Oh, uhm. For comfort I guess. It´s pretty warm and cozy and… it makes me feel… grounded” Sirius admitted sheepishly. The tip of his ears turned pink. “I´ve had it for months now. I´m sorry.”  
  
“It´s fine, don’t worry about it. I didn´t really notice it to be missing.” He yawned and stretched.  
  
“Ugh. I´m off. I´m fucking tired.” With that he stood and headed towards the dorm. Grabbing his toiletries and pyjamas he went to the bathroom to get ready for the night. Sirius joined him while he was brushing his teeth. Together they stood in silence only the sound of bristles scraping against teeth audible. Remus rinsed and turned to Sirius, his hands shaking slightly:  
  
“Do you want to share a bed again? I sleep better with you next to me too” he admitted.  
It was only half a lie. He did sleep better both nights he had slept next to Sirius. Getting to sleep could be problematic though. Since Sirius still had foam in his mouth he only nodded. “Cool, I´ll… just wait for you then.” Remus grabbed his bag and left the bathroom so Sirius could get changed in peace. A few minutes later they both lay in Remus´ bed awkwardly staring at the canopy above them.  
  
“Screw this.” huffed Remus and collected his courage: “you wanna cuddle?”  
Sirius lay his head onto the taller boy’s chest again and threw an arm over his stomach. Minutes later both were sleeping soundly.  
  
~  
  
Remus woke to kisses on his neck. Reality caught up with him and he realized that Sirius was spooning him. Not only that but he was also placing small kisses on his neck and shoulder. A small moan escaped his lips and immediately the arms holding him stiffened.  
  
“Don´t stop, ´s nice” mumbled the brown haired prefect drowsily.  
Because it was nice and he had dreamed about waking up like this more than once. Sirius unclenched his muscles and sat up halfway, propping himself on one arm. Cold air hit Remus back that had previously been warmed by another body. Sighing heavily, he rolled onto his back and opened his eyes to look at Sirius, who in turn looked questioningly down at him. “Come on, don’t ruin my perfect morning by being stupid.” Remus was really disappointed that Sirius had stopped, but his brain had woken up enough to realize that Sirius kissing his neck might mean that he actually liked him too; that his stupid crush maybe was being reciprocated.  
  
Sirius face on the other hand went through five different emotions in the span of seconds. Confusion, desperation, more confusion, realization and finally happiness. His smile starting small and spreading over his whole face.  
  
“You´re pulling my leg” despite his facial expression his voice conveyed disbelieve.  
  
“No I´m not. Yes, I like you too, now if you would be so kind and continue on what you were doing before or- “. Sirius didn’t give him the chance to finish that sentence, he kissed Remus.  
  
Sirius´ lips were heaven. They seem to fit perfectly onto his own lips, the perfect counterpart. The soft feel of the lips paired exquisitely with the roughness of the stubble. Another moan escaped him and Sirius took the opportunity to explore the others mouth with his tongue. In an effort to kiss him even more deeply, Remus shifted which led to Sirius falling from half sitting to half laying on top of Remus. The additional contact was welcomed by the both of them and Remus pulled Sirius closer, one arm wrapping around the toned form, the other hand threading itself into the black locks. The kiss grew less frantic and more sensual.  
  
Gone was the desperate grabbing for the other, instead they took their time to explore the others lips and body. Somewhere along the line, their shirts had landed on the floor leaving both of them bare chested. And although Remus was normally shy about his body, he didn’t mind Sirius seeing him like this, he even enjoyed it.  
When they eventually stopped kissing, their lips were swollen and red. Remus wrapped his arms tightly around his lover who in turn snuggled closer to him, listening to Remus´ racing heart.  
  
“You know,… I think I´ll keep your jumper” murmured Sirius. Remus only hugged him tighter.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :) Please leave a comment with your thoughts on this!


End file.
